Dear How to Do It: I’ve been through some big life changes over the past few years.
I’ve tried forcing myself to have sex but that wasn’t sustainable as I hated every second of it. I offered to open up the marriage so that my husband can be sexually fulfilled . My husband has been patient and never pressuring, but I know that sexual intimacy is very important to him, and feel like it’s only a matter of time before this situation is just not working for him anymore.
Have you tried taking the pressure off of yourself? Your husband isn’t pressuring you—so where is it coming from? Take a long time off of physical engagement and think about what kinds of touch you want and what they do for you. What do you want because you feel youwant it, and what do you want for its own sake? When you do begin engaging physically again, start with only the things you genuinely want to do and try, and only for as long as you want them.
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