Simone Biles Chose Herself

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Simone Biles Chose Herself
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For Simone_Biles, walking away was an act of self-reclamation. She told the story of her Tokyo Games to CAMONGHNE

Photo: Ashley Peña. Top by Aisling Camps. Simone’s own jewelry. This article was featured in One Great Story, New York’s reading recommendation newsletter. Sign up here to get it nightly.

While Biles is generally honest about her feelings, she is skilled at presenting them in a rehearsed package. When we approach the subject of Tokyo, it begins that way. “You know, there have been highs, there have been lows,” she says, sending her gaze up toward the ceiling as she considers the stakes of the discussion. As she continues, she no longer seems interested in being quite as careful. “Sometimes it’s like, yeah, I’m perfectly okay with it. Like, that’s how it works.

Photo: Ashley Peña Biles knows she is the greatest. She has had four gymnastics elements named after her — one on beam, one on vault, two on floor. With a combined total of 32 Olympic and World Championships medals, she is the most decorated gymnast of all time. “It’s kind of unheard of to win as many things as I have,” Biles says. “I don’t physically understand how I do it.” She seems genuinely bummed she can’t answer the question.

She stepped onto the flight to Tokyo with confidence. But there were variables she didn’t anticipate this time: COVID testing, breakthrough cases. “There was no crowd, no parents,” she explains. It was going to be harder, mentally, to get into the game. Once she arrived, anxiety set in. Everything will be okay, she thought, but she had a nagging feeling that things were not right.

Photo: Ashley Peña. Top by Aisling Camps. Simone’s own jewelry. Sitting at the big desk on the floor of the U.S. Senate, Biles is dressed smartly in a pink plaid blazer and a white undershirt. She’s there for a Judiciary Committee hearing on the FBI’s handling of the Nassar investigation in September. The jumbo braids have been taken down and clip-ins installed, her dark-brown hair shiny and straight with just a little body up at the roots.

As an athlete, everything is about timing. Three months to train for a meet. Ninety seconds on the floor. One minute on beam. If you tear a muscle, a doctor can estimate healing time to the day. But not for a spiritual injury. The ache is cavernous and hidden somewhere she can’t touch. “I just want a doctor to tell me when I’ll be over this,” says Biles, letting out a deep exhale. When she has dealt with physical injuries, it typically required six-to-eight weeks of recovery. Maybe three months.

“As a Black woman, we just have to be greater,” Biles says simply, echoing what many a Black female great has said before her. “Because even when we break records and stuff, they almost dim it down, as if it’s just normal.”

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