“Dear Diary, This morning, a man in a top hat came to my home, transferred me to a different, significantly smaller home, and surveilled me.”
There is no way to ease into what I’m about to recount. This morning, a man in a top hat came to my home, transferred me to a different, significantly smaller home, and surveilled me. When I finally emerged, midday, in need of sustenance, he went berserk, whooping and cheering. I assume this was all the result of lingering stress from the three-year economic depression that we recently came out of, but still—the day’s events have had real consequences for me.
I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve these riches, other than visit every burrow within a hundred-foot radius during mating season. Being a father makes me think about the future more than ever before. Sometimes, Mary-Anne worries about the world that awaits our children when they are grown, but I say, “Take it from me, a clairvoyant groundhog—the future is bright!”Have you read “The Wasteland,” by T. S. Eliot? I hated it from the first line.
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