CPAC is back, and so are the totally normal people who attend.
I’m standing on the sidewalk outside CPAC when two suited gentlemen begin making a scene. “Oh my god,” one shouts. “Is that JFK? It’s JFK Junior!”
Craig Hudgins, the RV’s grandfatherly owner, looks at me apologetically and explains that while he personally doesn’t “get too deep into that crap,” some people believe that JFK Junior is still alive. “Like, he’s been brought back to life?” I ask, and Hudgins replies, “Yeah, I think that’s the whole thing.”
My original plan was to cover the scene at CPAC—the outfits, the speeches, the overheard remarks—but it was too late to get a press credential, and honestly, that was probably for the best. Looping a “journalist” sign around my fragile neck and parading among throngs of testy Republicans didn’t sound so great, particularly after American Conservative Union chair Matt SchlappWithout a media badge, the closest I can get to CPAC is the sidewalk outside the convention center.
“I can only attribute it to God’s grace, God’s favor,” he says of how he got this parking spot. Apparently he didn’t get a special permit, and he didn’t even arrive that early—but a valet just let him do it. “It’s like a hot knife going through butter,” he says of the marvelous things that happen whenever he travels in his loud, patriotic RVs.
The guy in the fedora replies with talk of funding the wall, explaining that large corporations are spurring mass migrations so that they can take over emptied-out parts of the world. “I think it’s more now, but every year over 800,000 kids go missing at the border,” he says. “Why? I mean, cannibalism is real. It is no joke. These Satanic people are literally eating [children]. They consider it the rejuvenation of life.”“It really is Satanic,” the fedora guy insists.
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