We often say to kids who are struggling in school, “You can’t do this unless you do that first.' My philosophy? Let’s give students dignified things to do before setting up conditions, and they’ll rise to the occasion.
is key to helping them cultivate a positive self-view, as is creating opportunities for them to help others by activating their strengths.Something significant happens when parents and teachers start to focus on a child’s strengths and interests – or what I call “islands of competence” – instead of their challenges and so-called deficits.
I spoke to the school principal about this boy’s interests. By chance, the school had a number of classrooms with pets. The principal appointed this boy the Pet Monitor, which involved his ensuring that all pets were well-taken care of. The boy’s teacher creatively called upon his interest in pets when she informed him that the school library lacked a good book on taking care of pets and invited him to write a small book on the subject. She added that she would help him with the writing.
I sensed that the father, struggling to connect with his son, felt like he was growing apart from him. However, he took to heart my suggestion that he consider ways of “joining” his son’s island of competence. He signed up for a parent-child art class at a local museum and called me after the first session.
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