'I hated the parent I was, but had no idea how to be a different parent. I felt like I was hurting my daughter every day, but I didn’t know any other way. I lived and breathed fear.'
It goes against logic, but parenthood can sap the fun right out of you. You’re surrounded by delightful, tiny people who want nothing more than to have fun, so it would make sense that you would just jump in and enjoy life right along with them, right? Unfortunately, for many of us, it just doesn’t happen that way. Those fun little humans have needs, wants, and demands, and if you aren’t careful, your capability for fun can dissolve faster than a puddle on a hot summer day.
That means nothing, now that I have a husband and daughter with ADHD. They regularly put items in strange locations, if they put them away at all. I can’t count on anything to be where it belongs. Beloved items disappear — often and forever. I’m ashamed to admit that, in the beginning, I never had my daughter’s best interests in mind during meltdowns. I only wanted to appease the strangers around me by silencing her screams and tears. This involved hissing, ignoring, and grabbing too hard. Sometimes, these “methods” stopped the meltdown, but they always made her feel terrible. Over time, I’ve learned to look at HER, not at the strangers. SHE is who I’m supposed to care for and about, not the strangers.
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