Painful Sex Isn't Normal—Let's Put This Damaging Myth to Bed

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Painful Sex Isn't Normal—Let's Put This Damaging Myth to Bed
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, who can help you determine whether you may have an underlying health issue and find a physician. But be aware: Medical issues surrounding sexual dysfunction and painful sex in women—and, really, women’s reproductive concerns in general—can often be hard to diagnose and hard to treat, so seeing a doctor might be but a first step inEven when pain isn’t a sign of a serious medical problem, treating it as no big deal does women a disservice.

Speaking up about your pain is a great first step. If your partner doesn’t know you’re hurting, they’re not going to be able to help you out. While it may feel intimidating to speak up—no one wants to be a buzzkill in the bedroom, Schultz points out—suffering in silence can make a bad situation much worse.

And if you still don’t enjoy certain aspects of sex—like being penetrated—it’s okay to take those activities completely off the table. “There are manyin a relationship where it doesn’t cause pain to one of the partners,” says Dr. Goldstein. Oral sex, mutual masturbation, massage, kissing, and even kink can all be ways to enjoy your sexuality and intimacy without vaginal penetration. “Good relationships get this and understand this,” Dr. Goldstein avers.

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