OMAHA, NE—OSHA Special Ops recon scouts abseiled through skylights as breach-teams crashed simultaneously through multiple windows with drawn M4 carbines Thursday to launch an Occupational Safety and Health Administration raid on a local office, mere hours after receiving intel on a possible expired fire extinguisher. “Stay down, you non-flame-retardant motherfuckers—hands on the backs of your heads,” said OSHA Bravo Team leader Col. Charles “Tex” Maxwell, who initiated the raid through a series of complex hand signals before launching a flash-bang grenade into the mid-sized advertising agency’s kitchenette. “Don’t move an inch, you four-alarm shitheads, or I’ll activate your corporate dental plans and help you with your permanent disability paperwork. Now—where’s the dud extinguisher? Where are you hiding it? Tell us now, or I’m going to start putting management’s fingers in that non-regulation kitchen utensil drawer’s pinch point, one by one. Nobody escapes OSHA.” The Nebraska state Occupational Safety and Health Administration office offered no comment on Col. Maxwell’s summary execution of a regional manager caught smoking near a propped-open emergency exit.
Brasil Últimas Notícias, Brasil Manchetes
Similar News:Você também pode ler notícias semelhantes a esta que coletamos de outras fontes de notícias.
Britney Spears' Conservatorship Team Receiving Death ThreatsRecent speculation about Britney Spears' well-being has reached dangerous levels, a source tells ET.
Consulte Mais informação »
Indianapolis high school fires gay teacher after local archdiocese threatens to yank non-profit statusIt's not the first time the archbishop has attempted to strong-arm a Catholic school into firing its LGBTQ+ faculty members.
Consulte Mais informação »
Participant's Jeff Skoll, David Linde to Receive Toronto Fest TributeThe duo will receive the TIFF Impact award after their Oscar winner 'Green Book' earned the top People's Choice at Toronto last year.
Consulte Mais informação »
Nile Rodgers to Receive Artist's Artist Honor at U.K.'s Artists and Managers Awards.nilerodgers to receive Artist's Artist Honor at U.K.'s Artists and Managers Awards
Consulte Mais informação »
Real Recognize Real: Killer Mike Wants Rappers To Receive Credit For Their Role In Decriminalizing MarijuanaKiller Mike Is Pushing For Rappers To Get Their Proper Credit You can always count on Killer Mike to speak up for what he believes in, and this time, he’s focusing on making sure rappers get …
Consulte Mais informação »