Simply wishing for things in life is not likely to manifest them. Try this method instead.
. WOOP is mental contrasting in action. It’s the space where the four protagonists come together to get to know one another before embarking on their journey.“If you see something in the world that you want, something that is challenging yet feasible because you have some agency over it, WOOP gives you a framework for turning your positive fantasies into reality,” says Oettingen, who has used WOOP to accomplish many of her own wishes.
Other than understanding our deepest needs, exploring our wishes can also make us face the inner resistance that’s preventing us from realizing them.“Behind the obstacles are often emotions, irrational beliefs, bad habits or old hang-ups which we have been carrying with us for years,” explains Oettingen.attention“Take 5-10 minutes of quiet to ask yourself one question: What do I really want? Find a wish that’s dear to your heart, in whatever life domain it may be.
"Once you have a wish, explore how you would feel already being there. Happy? Relieved? Pinpoint the best outcome and vividly imagine it by experiencing it in your mind. Only then, switch to the obstacle — what is it in you that stands in the way of realizing your wish? Try scratching at the surface and go deeper to understand what is behind your obstacle.
As much joy and fulfillment we anticipate at the end of our wish-fulfillment journey, we would be remiss to ignore the jewels we encounter along the way — bravery and patience,and flow, good intentions and self-compassion. Perhaps, then, the biggest reward of pursuing our dreams lies in the fortuity to nurture our relationship with ourselves.
Many thanks to Dr. Gabriele Oettingen for her time and insights. Dr. Oettingen is a professor of psychology at NYU. She is the author of
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