The New Zealand Prime Minister announced that she’s standing down, five years after becoming the youngest female head of government in the world at age 37.
But I don’t see it as “can’t have it all” so much as “don’t want it all”. Work isn’t everything, even when you’re Prime Minister. Life doesn’t stop and neither does ambition – the same ferocious drive that it takes to get elected and run a country doesn’t just evaporate because you’ve climbed that particular mountain. It swerves, shape-shifts and finds a new outlet. Perhaps Ardern, like so many of us, wants to find out what that might look like.
In her decision to step down, Ardern is showing her leadership instinct until the end – trusting your gut and, when the moment comes, doing what’s best for you. There’s nothing weak about admitting you no longer have the stomach to give a particular job your all. There’s nothing weak about knowing your own mind or being able to set boundaries. Understanding yourself well enough to bail out? That takes strength. That’s self-care… well, she is a millennial.
“One of the criticisms I’ve faced over the years is that I’m not aggressive enough or assertive enough, or maybe somehow, because I’m empathetic, it means I’m weak. I totally rebel against that. I refuse to believe that you cannot be both compassionate and strong,” she told theThat compassion has to extend to yourself – otherwise, what’s the point? Championing kindness and empathy, as she has throughout her premiership, looks hollow if you can’t apply them to your own life.
And quitting is empowering, trust me. The cultural narrative is that we should feel shame or failure, but actively ending a chapter of your life and walking forward into a new era can make your heart pump faster and your brain fizz. It should be celebrated that you have the imagination to see yourself existing somewhere else, doing something else.
Looking at it through that lens, how dare we shame Ardern for choosing to do something so positive for herself? For knowing that this particular tank is empty.
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