These culinary rituals define the process of mourning across different traditions.
Orthodox Christian rituals in certain parts of Eastern Europe call for the consumption of koliva — a mix of seeds and grains shaped like a cake and sweetened with honey or sugar — after a blessing by a priest.
When my mother-in-law died, for example, my husband’s family subscribed to both Jewish and Mashadi customs during the mourning period, referencing both our religious ties and cultural ones to the city of Mashhad in Iran, where both of our ancestors are from. Some suggest that round foods like eggs represent the cycle of life. Overall, though, the culinary modesty that has come to define the mourning period within my personal traditions seems to have one prevailing meaning: A griever should focus on his grieving throughout the year after a close person’s death, without even using food as a distraction.
In Chinese circles, there are also foods to stay away from right after the funeral, Carmina explained. Specifically, ones that “sound like negative words,” she revealed. “The word for melon, for example, is ‘guā,’ which sounds like the word for death, which is ‘sǐwáng.’ We try to avoid that when mourning because we don’t want negative energy or associations.”
Perhaps unsurprisingly given some similarities between it and Buddhism, many branches of Hinduism also call for the avoidance of meat for a set period of time after a death, a guideline that results in mourning menus filled with fruit and veggie dishes, especially within gift baskets that family and friends traditionally offer those in mourning.
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