The distinction is subtle, but significant.
, offers the practice of a “slow yes and a quick no.” When we say yes to everyone else, we say no to ourselves. While saying no may be new, and therefore hard, pausing creates space for you to get in touch with what you think and feel, before providing an automatic and inauthentic response that you’ll resent later.One way to notice if you’re being nice instead of kind is to build awareness of.
Listen to these messages, pause on them, recognizing that they are letting you know that you’ve gone beyond your limit. Just because you have the capacity to give, doesn’t mean you have to.If you’ve lived a life governed by niceties, you may be easily swayed to leave your experience and join the experience of another.
While these new words may sound “mean,” remember that when you take a position, it is an act of kindness, as it frees others up to do the same. For example, if you share that you’re feeling disrespected by another, it allows the other person to consider their actions and make choices about how they want to treat you. Not only does this help the other person meet your needs, but it also may make them consider how they show up in other relationships, furthering their growth.
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