Dear Pay Dirt: I’m not sure what the lesson was.
During the real estate crisis, I purchased a foreclosed townhouse for $26,000 cash. It is now worth approximately $240,000. I allow my older brother to live there rent-free, and I pay the HOA fee and utilities. He has EBT for food. I retired early, and while not wealthy, I am comfortable, own my primary residence outright, can afford to travel, and live within my means.
My question is how to deal with friends who simply cannot let it go that I should sell and kick my brother out. My brother is severely alcoholic—I wouldn’t even say a “functioning” alcoholic. He doesn’t and cannot work, and he will never, ever seek help, so don’t even bother suggesting an intervention. Am I an enabler? Yes, of course I am. I know that, but he’d be living under a bridge if I weren’t.
Addiction is complicated, and your friends are also demonstrating their ignorance of the problem when they suggest that housing your brother is enabling his alcoholism, particularly when the alternative is homelessness. The tough love approach might seem like it works in Hallmark movies, but in real life it can often create more damage. When addicts don’t have their basic needs met—and shelter and food are minimum requirements—they can’t get sober.
The one problem is transportation: Neither of us has a car, and the public transport in the area is abysmal. My partner casually mentioned the idea of buying a car together, and though I didn’t show it, I totally freaked. I know that cars can be extremely expensive, and it seems like a dangerous prospect.
Brasil Últimas Notícias, Brasil Manchetes
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