'When I came to ... I was lying on my back in a room I didn’t recognize. ... I felt my naked hip where underwear should have been.'
"Under fluorescent lighting, I asked the pharmacist for the medicine that would erase the biggest possible physical consequence of the night."The last thing I remember clearly was him telling me his name: Max.
As he stood at the pump, my eyes drifted to the CVS across the street, and it occurred to me that I needed Plan B ― and the sooner the better. I had and still have no idea exactly what this guy did to me.“As he stood at the pump, my eyes drifted to the CVS across the street, and it occurred to me that I needed Plan B ― and the sooner the better.”
The morning after, I told Julia, my best friend at the time, about what happened. All she said was, “At least you got some.” But even this I am not sure of. Never before and never since had I blacked out for an entire night. I still don’t know if I was drugged at that bar. Either way, I could not have consented to sex. An intoxicated person cannot give consent.Moving forward, I couldn’t shake the fear that lingered. After Max, I was scared of every man. I suspected that anyone was capable of what he did. Intellectually and statistically, I knew this was impossible.
and I learned that emergency contraception, including Plan B, might no longer be an option for women, including women like me who were taken advantage of by men.What good comes from removing the freedom of choice for women who suffer at the actions of men — or, in fact, for any reason. I’m not sure what further lessons I ought to have gained. My only “crime,” if we can even call it that, was that I was drunk in a bar.
To this day, one of the biggest pieces of this that I can’t get past is that I don’t know if Max knows what really happened. I certainly never told him. From what I know, Max never faced any consequences for his actions that night. Nor do I think the night stressed or troubled him in the slightest. He might not even believe he did anything wrong.
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