My Husband Quieted The Voice That Tells Me I’m Not Good Enough “As I Swiffered the floor with sweat beading along my face, my hair unwashed and piled on top of my head, my husband stopped me, making sure we had eye contact, and he told me, ‘I see you.’”
Most parents are well aware of and need no definition or explanation for the dreaded witching hours that usually fall somewhere between the hours of 5 p.m. and 8 p.m. The span of time that occurs once the kids are off the bus, homework is completed, and younger siblings start to tire out — and everyone in the house simultaneously loses their shit.
Then comes the clean-up. Those shining moments in a parent’s life when we stoop down on our hands and knees to scrape mashed potatoes and gravy off the hardwood floor while silently cursing our children and their need to be fed nightly. We question what we did to deserve this. And finally, once all the dishes have been rinsed and leftovers packed into the refrigerator, where they will slowly grow mold for three weeks before being tossed out, it is time for bath time and bedtime rituals.
Like I said, the nightly routine looks different in every household. In mine, my husband is a chef who works mostly every night. This leaves me to handle the witching hours with 3 children alone, forcing my anxiety to peak to levels I did not previously know existed. Every evening after finally getting my kids to sleep, I reflect on the day. I worry over how many times I snapped. I question if I spent enough quality time with each child, and I doubt whether I am a good mother.
It was on one of the rare nights that my husband was home with us. After a delicious dinner he had prepared for us, I began my role in the clean-up/bath-time/bed-time ritual. As I Swiffered the floor with sweat beading along my face, my hair unwashed and piled on top of my head, my husband stopped me, making sure we had eye contact, and he told me, “I see you.”
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