My friend backed out of plans that *she* made, and won't pay me back for the tickets. One expert weighs in on how to salvage the sticky situation — and your friendship:
is a weekly advice column where the experts weigh in on your awkward and annoying financial faux pas.Recently, my friend suggested we go to a women's conference. I agreed, and since I was the one online at the time, we agreed that I would purchase two tickets — they were non-refundable — and she would pay me later. When the conference rolled around, she got sick and couldn’t go.
“How you phrase your request to discuss the topic is as important as the topic itself,” says Dr. Andrea Goeglein, psychologist and founder of. “A potential starting point could be, ‘Jane, I have something that has been troubling me. I want to schedule a time for us to talk about the women’s conference we had to cancel. When can we sit and grab a coffee to talk about it?’”
When the time arrives to have the conversation, remember that you’re talking to a friend and not just “someone” who owes you money. Stay calm. Though you have a right to be frustrated, try not to let your frustration set the tone for the conversation — instead, approach it as if you earnestly want to get to the bottom of why she hasn’t offered to pay for her ticket yet.
“Once your friend has told you what she understood her commitment to be, it is time for you to agree or disagree,” Dr. Goeglein says.
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