Muslim women are often silenced by their own communities or face Islamophobic stereotypes from outside agencies when they try to seek help.
SAN FRANCISCO — It was three days after high school graduation when it happened. Nour Naas, then 18, stood in the alleyway outside her home and watched her father shoot seven bullets into her mother’s chest.
A number of victims said they were distrustful of U.S. state and federal agencies due to past experiences of discrimination. When they did decide to seek help, HuffPost found, they often contended with Islamophobic stereotypes, sometimes voiced by the very people tasked with keeping them safe. Many who turned to religious leaders for support said they encountered unprepared imams with little to no training on the dynamics of domestic abuse.
Some were immigrants who spoke about the difficult choice of staying with an abuser because he was their legal sponsor or having to stay because they did not know enough English to safely find shelters. One afternoon in October, sitting in a bright living room at the Arab Cultural Community Center in San Francisco, Naas recalled the first time she became aware of her father’s violence. It was a winter night in 2009. She watched him squeeze her mother tight and shake her body violently until her skin turned black and blue. He threw a wooden chair at her when she refused to comply with his order to sit down. Naas yelled for her brothers to come help.
Muslim women eschew seeking help for fear of causing more harm than good, said Mouna Benmoussa, who heads the Arab Woman Services program, an extension of Asian Women’s Shelter in San Fransico. Muslim women fear their husbands will be deported or go to jail, she said. “Even with all of that abuse and ill-treatment, they do want their husbands to stay in the country.”Naas spent years trying to understand why her father killed her mother.
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