Mothers Know Best

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Mothers Know Best
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Why your parental instincts are usually right for your child — even when experts and family disagree. And how to tell when you’re just plain wrong.

My gut told me they were wrong, and they were. When Jarryd was in second grade, I was concerned about his. His teacher suggested that I was a neurotic parent who worried needlessly. But Jarryd’s classmates never invited him to play dates.

Looking back, I see that my gut was wrong. Our family endured three painful years of trying to manage his behavior. Jarryd didn’t get the help he needed, and my husband and I were exhausted.As a professional, with a Ph.D., I have talked with other parents who also have mistakenly trusted their gut. Karen saw several mental-health professionals through the years, who suggested that family therapy would help her daughter’s ADHD symptoms. Karen disagreed.

She didn’t know the answers, and fired the psychologist before finding out. It wasn’t until her daughter’s situation worsened dramatically that she finally agreed to participate in family therapy. This delay cost the family years of needless pain and heartache.While all parents have a Ph.D. in their child’s best interests, it is sometimes hard to tell if your gut is right. For instance, your impulse is to help your child, when it would be better if you backed off.

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