DEAR MISS MANNERS: I know that married couples are always supposed to be invited as a pair, the exception being when there’s a single-gender event like a bachelor party or bridal shower. However, what is the rule for inviting a same-sex partner when the spouse would usually be left out?
Hypothetical: I’m planning a women-only baby shower. The mother-to-be gives me a list of her close friends and relatives to invite. On the list is Aunt Abby , who is married to Aunt Sal. Aunt Sal and the mother-to-be are not close.
GENTLE READER: The idea that only women might be interested in celebrating a birth is one steeped in sexist tradition -- and yet the custom prevails. Perhaps because most women are too polite to point out that “Guess what’s in the diaper?” is gross, and watching someone open presents is not entertainment.
It would be Miss Manners’ preference to eliminate the gender separation altogether, making the party’s eligibility based instead on interested parties: close family members and friends, including their spouses.DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it not perfectly acceptable for a sister-in-law to call to have a brother-in-law visit his brother, her husband’s, child?
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