'In the pages of 'The Man They Wanted Me To Be,' some readers might not only be acutely reminded of their fathers, uncles and countless others, but more important, of themselves.' Henry Rollins reviews Jared Yates Sexton’s book on toxic masculinity:
Jared Yates Sexton’s “The Man They Wanted Me To Be” explores the harmful effects of expectations of masculinity on the American men. White males — mostly middle-age — accounted for 70% of suicides in 2017.
And Sexton finds its roots in our fathers. “Of course, father issues are nothing new,” he writes, noting that many difficulties “mostly center on what is expected out of a man.” Jared Yates Sexton’s book “The Man They Wanted Me to Be” examines the ravaging, lifelong effects of toxic masculinity. Sexton is not a sociologist; not formally, anyway. He is an author and an associate professor of creative writing at Georgia Southern University, and he traveled the country as reporter on the 2016 campaign trail. He is also a survivor of toxic masculinity.After almost committing suicide, Sexton made a choice.
American masculinity, or rather the lie of American masculinity, became another product in the same vein as ... the new Chevy glimmering in the driveway.In heartbreaking detail, Sexton describes how he acted out for years, and by doing so, bought in to the lie. He drank, he fought and followed in the footsteps of millions of white American men before him. There was an experience he had, while as a college student in Illinois, that proved somewhat instructive.
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