Meet the Ukrainian mothers who won’t leave while their sons are at war.
Its streets are mostly empty now, its shops locked, and its nearby slopes closed. Only a few children can be seen outside, even during the peak of the day. No one smiles, no one laughs loudly. Suspicious looks, given out freely during anxious walks to buy bread or visit an ailing neighbor, are common, maybe the new norm. It is war time, after all, and things are changing too fast to understand what’s happening, or if a new face can be trusted.
She hadn’t been able to say goodbye before they left — maybe because it all happened so fast, or maybe because her boys had not had the courage to tell her about their decision to join the fight almost immediately after it began, instead leaving the devastating news to Nadia, one of her daughters-in-law, to share after it was too late for her to come back and try to stop them.
The next day, she told her niece that she needed to return to Ukraine immediately — by plane, by car, or by foot if necessary. She couldn’t be so far away from her sons, she said, not now. Two days later, she crossed the border from Poland back into Ukraine, returning to a country so changed in the previous three days.
This was not Igor’s first war, and so it was not the first time Natalia had to say goodbye to her son without any guarantee she would see him again. He had fought the Russians for over a year when they invaded Luhansk in 2014, from Aug. 8, 2014 to Sept. 10, 2015. She remembers the dates exactly. She knows the date he left this time too.
“Sixty-six thousand two hundred twenty-four. That’s how many men returned from abroad at this moment to defend their country from the horde,” Ukraine’s defense minister, Oleksii Reznikov, tweeted earlier this month. Both Dmitro and Stepan are reservists, with basic military training from the time they were part of the country’s mandatory conscription requiring able-bodied Ukrainian men aged 20 to 27 to complete 18 months of military service, a law put into place shortly afterBut neither of Lydia’s sons have experienced war like Igor has. This is all new for them, and for Lydia. She could not reach into a well of faith from experience the way Natalia could.
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