Man City expulsion: Liverpool, Man United, Arsenal, Spurs and Watford among winners of re-allocated trophies

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Man City expulsion: Liverpool, Man United, Arsenal, Spurs and Watford among winners of re-allocated trophies
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Brendan Rodgers and Ole Gunnar Solskjaer are Premier League-winning managers in our brave new world where Man City are stripped of their post-2008 titles.

The interlull demands content, and we can’t pretend we don’t much prefer the latest narrative to hit the top spot after last week’s risible efforts.was just too silly and too convenient and above all too abysmally dull to ever get the juices flowing, but it was better than what the back end of the week had in store for us with the. That sorry episode was among the more batsh*t we’ve ever encountered and we’ve now lived through several poppygates.

But second, and most importantly for interlull content, a huge strand of the City story is the fact that nothing has happened for ages and nothing probably will happen for ages yet. That’s frustrating for those who want to see punishment dished out, but if you’re trying to fill the long, barren days of an international break where England are playing only friendlies, then a story that can become more of a story specifically because nothing is actually happening becomes irresistible.

Not everything about this brave new City-less world is going to be better. We haven’t even got to Gerrard’s slip yet.? Or is it a whole other new PLU? Can Chelsea get new trophies here? That doesn’t seem right, but we’re also not entirely sure we can be bothered cross-referencing everything we do here against not one but two alternative versions of reality, only one of which is actual reality. We’ve got our limits.

The 2014 winners Sunderland benefit again from City’s vanishing, with a 4-1 third-round thrashing now obliterated as they go through to face Palace in the last 16. With four points against Palace that season, Sunderland move on again to the last eight and further success against Championship side Hull. That puts the Black Cats into a semi-final against Everton and it’s a thriller to be fair.

Mourinho’s side only just squeak home, though. In the actual table they finished four points clear of Mauricio Pochettino’s Tottenham, but Jose’s United were daft enough to collect three of those points against City. Spurs on the other hand, unlike more recent times, were not so silly as to constantly pick up meaningless points that don’t count against Manchester City. They got righteously spangled home and away which leaves them just a point behind the new champions. Spursy, that.

It is, quite obviously, Liverpool. We shouldn’t really need to go into too much detail about why it’s Liverpool. They finished one point behind Manchester City and a genuinely ludicrous 27 points clear of anyone else. You can tinker round the edges all you want, you can even criticise our unimpeachably scientific process in some of these decisions if you absolutely must, but this is Liverpool’s title.

We must, with some reluctance, head to the league table and give it to third-place United over the mid-table Saints. We’re not happy with this messy way of doing things when we’ve been so careful and precise elsewhere, but hey ho. Liverpool were once again a solitary point behind the now disgraced City, and while the gap to third-place Chelsea was a bit smaller this time around it was still 18 points. It’s still a heck of a lot. And that’s if Chelsea even exist in this universe, which frankly we can no longer remember and also our head hurts.here for a way not to give this to Arsenal.

So it’s an Arsenal-United final and a lovely slice of early Barclays nostalgia. And this time at least we can at least give it to United rather than Arsenal without being too silly about it all. There was a win apiece for the old rivals in the league that season, but United’s Old Trafford win was 3-1 and Arsenal’s at the Emirates was 3-2. Taking the average of those two games, we get a decisive 2.5-2 victory for United at Wembley to gain some revenge for their league disappointment.

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