The happiest folks I have ever met are those doing absolutely nothing particularly special.
, Penn’s executive director of counseling and psychological services, hit me so hard, but it did. I read the headlines and I felt like someone sucker punched me in the gut. I didn’t understand why I was having such a strong reaction to a stranger’s death.
When I woke the next morning, new thoughts emerged. “Why are so many people dying by suicide, and why so many Ivy league schools like Penn?” I began to realize what was at the core of my alarming feelings. It is the theme I see growing every year in my practice. A significant number of parents come to me because their child is struggling in some significant way and they have tried more traditional approaches with no success.
We, as parents, are so focused on this definition of success that is so wildly self-destructive that our kids are beginning to go so far as to end their lives, rather than—dare I say it—QUIT. What if we, as a society, could have a little less respect for conventional “success” and a whole lot more self-compassion? I bet we would see far fewer deaths by suicide, overdoses, and folks reaching for a beer to cope with what they simply don’t want to do but can’t find a socially-acceptable exit from. Let’s start building those exits. Right now the exits seem to be rooted in substance abuse, depression, eating disorders, and suicide attempts. We can do better.
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