Body acceptance coaches give their tips on resolving both practical matters (like seating logistics) and emotional struggles (like ordering while fearing judgment).
is often the de facto plan when it comes to celebrating a special occasion or catching up with friends. Other times, it’s not even that deep: Maybe you’re simply hungry and don’t want to cook or you want to treat yourself to something delicious. Whatever the reason, while some people make plans to eat out without a second thought, for people who are larger-bodied, the idea of going to a restaurant can be anxiety-provoking.
Apostol acknowledged that this isn’t an easy conversation for everyone to have. “It can be really hard because we’ve been taught by diet and wellness culture that fatness means there’s something wrong with us,” she explained. For this reason, she said that if having the conversation would cause you further emotional harm, you don’t have to do it.
“It can be really hard because we’ve been taught by diet and wellness culture that fatness means there’s something wrong with us.”Like Apostol, she acknowledged that both of these options require emotional work. “To be honest, there are a lot of days I simply won’t do something because there are too many decisions on too many little things I have to think about or too many things I have to do to prepare,” she said.
Tovar said it’s helpful to look at the menu and figure out what to order in advance. “There are people who do this for other reasons too, such as because they have social anxiety or because they are recovering from an eating disorder. There can be anxiety around ordering for so many different people. You are not alone,” she said.
One option is to simply ignore the comment, Tovar said. Or to say, “Oh, I don’t talk about food that way,” and move the conversation right along. But if you want to give a sassy reply right back to the person, all three experts said you would be justified in doing so. “It’s up to you how you want to address it,” Dodson said.
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