Surveys show that financial infidelity is common, even though six in 10 people think lying to your partner about money is as bad as or worse than cheating. But not every money secret is a relationship deal breaker.
It's Valentine's Day, and the air is filled with roses, chocolate and the typical pollster fear mongering that financial infidelity is rampant and likely to ruin your romantic relationship.
A few years ago, academics at the University of Southern Mississippi wanted to look more deeply into what financial infidelity actually means and what partners tend to lie about. The four most common"sins," in fact, were all about seemingly minor spending infractions: hiding a purchase, lying about the price paid for an item, spending money on the kids without telling a spouse and buying something for full price, then saying it was on sale. Less common were activities like covering up a secret money stash or siphoning cash from a savings account.
The salient question to ask yourself: Why are you keeping a secret—and is the secret doing real harm to your finances as a couple? "They weren't trying to be malicious," says Weiss."There are a lot of insecurities around money, and people are embarrassed about not understanding finances or being in control."
When you do talk with your spouse, whether to reveal an"infidelity" or simply to get on the same page about your spending styles, remember your partner has his or her own barriers and insecurities, so try to be understanding if defensiveness crops up.
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