Julie Klausner Is More Disturbed by Cats Than You Are

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Julie Klausner Is More Disturbed by Cats Than You Are
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'None of it made sense spatially. All of it disturbed me. I was upset by the erectness of the tails'

Cats! Photo: Vulture and Universal Pictures Cats is out, and Cats is a bomb. Or maybe Cats is a masterpiece, if you’re feeling particularly galaxy-brained. According to Twitter’s collective cat-bashing over the weekend, Tom Hooper’s musical catstravaganza delivered on the trailer’s promise of a nightmarish furry fiasco.

And the fat jokes are so hard to watch. You know, James Corden had this articulate response to Bill Maher’s fat shaming a couple months ago, where he did this segment saying, “I’ve tried dieting and this is who I am.” And I was like, Yeah, right on! And then he does this movie, where he’s like, “Rah, rah, rah gobble gobble burp!” And then he sings a song about all the food he likes to eat. And then he says, “You know, I’m sensitive about my weight.” All you’ve been doing is singing about it.

You’re an Into the Woods movie defender. Do you think Rob Marshall would have done a better job with this? He’s a cat. His portrayal of Mistoffelees is very Jimmy Jazzian. My friend leaned over twice and said, “That’s Jimmy.” Like yeah, I know.Because it’s a well-written musical and you’re supposed to identify, of course! My first cat, Smiley Muffin, was a Jennyanydots.How about the one who played Rumpleteazer …

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