John Oliver Won’t Tolerate Amazon Calling Their Employees ‘Heroes’ Any Longer

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John Oliver Won’t Tolerate Amazon Calling Their Employees ‘Heroes’ Any Longer
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John Oliver is back to covering the only thing that matters right now: The coronavirus, and how the pandemic continues to screw over essential workers

After a brief dalliance with Trump’s favorite media network, John Oliver is back to covering the only thing that matters in 2020: The coronavirus, and how the pandemic continues to screw over essential workers. “It’s a broad term,” Oliver reminds us about who’s deemed essential, “that can include any job from health care professionals to custodians to grocery store clerks to, I would argue, TikTok stars teaching me how to dance.

“It’s hard to say what I like least about that,” he explained. “Maybe it’s the schmaltzy piano music, maybe it’s Amazon patronizingly claiming they care about the well-being of their ‘heroes,’ or maybe it’s just the fact that, out of context, the Amazon smile logo is a quick sketch of an uncircumcised dick. It’s probably a combination of all three.” If you still insist on ordering off Amazon for your quarantine goodies, though, Oliver begs you to make sure you actually need whatever you buy.

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