“I really needed to figure out what I thought about myself when a man was not defining that for me,” jennyslate tells R29's CRBarberich on the latest episode of UnStyledPodcast
Much of the post-breakups work, she says, had to do with radical self-acceptance — about her own emotional makeup and how that plays out in relationships. “I’d look back at the end of my marriage. Like,. But the next couple of years [were] the most totally bonkers I probably have ever been. I had many regrets, about much of my internal world at that point.”
But that kind of regret, she learned, does worse than nothing. “The one thing that I learned was that shame is really useless — but just because it's useless doesn’t mean that it's not also incredibly destructive. I feel shame deeply, and so I need to be with somebody who will let me make mistakes, and not shame me,” she tells Christene. “That's a hard person to find and it's hard to find in myself, and I'm not there yet...but I'm really getting there.
As painful as it all was, and sometimes still is, Jenny is grateful, and closer to, well, peace, than she’s ever been. “I just felt that my life fell apart, I felt like everything was in pieces, and I felt despair,” she says. “And I felt a feeling that my life will always try to save itself. And that's something that I'm lucky that I have inside of me: the will to thrive and not just thrive, but totally bloom.
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