'I wanted an authentic life. I wanted to feel confident. I wanted a ponytail.'
became a personal icon. For weeks I dreamed of what it would be like to have the freedom to sport a ponytail like Hamm's. By then I was fully aware of a desire within me to be a girl, but I kept it buried in the back of my brain, suppressed whenever possible. Still, it sometimes crept up, summoned by the most mundane signifiers of femaleness.
I did the things I was told a “male person” should do, believing I’d eventually be cleansed of this painful longing. Instead the facade exacerbated my depression and anxiety. I went to therapy for years, had numerous uncomfortable conversations, and came out as a trans woman in late 2017. It is the best choice I’ve ever made. It saved me.
But it took my hair took a lot longer to catch up with the new me. I’d grown accustomed to army-issue crewcuts, which grow out fast. It didn’t occur to me immediately that the hair I’d dreamed of would take years to come in, and I didn’t feel confident enough to wear a wig. So I had to wait it out, for over a year, fiddling with my hair after a shower to see if it was long enough yet and consistently bummed when it wasn’t quite there.
I hadn’t tried putting my hair up in months when one evening in late July, I absentmindedly grabbed a hair tie off my shelf and made a go of it. After some awkward handling and smoothing of rogue strands, I adjusted the band high on the back of my head and turned toward the mirror. I don’t know how to adequately articulate the combination of happiness and relief I felt in that moment. It’s just hair, I thought. But then I glimpsed the waves, how the strands bundled together so beautifully.
Here I stood on a summer night, with a life my six-year-old self wouldn’t have dared to imagine. I’m 32 now and old enough to admit my anxiety over seemingly trivial things. I think some part of me was worried this thing I’d wanted for more than 25 years would look terrible once I finally got it. I’m pleased to report: It was perfect.
Brasil Últimas Notícias, Brasil Manchetes
Similar News:Você também pode ler notícias semelhantes a esta que coletamos de outras fontes de notícias.
https://www.instyle.comInStyle is the leading site for celebrity style. See expert fashion advice, star hairstyles, beauty tips, how-to videos and real-time red carpet coverage.
Consulte Mais informação »
Oribe Gold Lust Nourishing Hair OilThis multipurpose moisturizing hair oil from Oribe gets hair glossy and smells divine.
Consulte Mais informação »
Reed Hastings on the Streamer Wars: ‘It’s a Whole New World Starting in November’After dominating the subscription streaming scene for so long, Netflix is girding for a new phase in the SVOD wars with the entry of more deep-pocketed players like Disney and Apple, CEO Reed Hasti…
Consulte Mais informação »
Watch Ariana Grande Cut Her Ponytail in New ''Thank U, Next'' VideoWatch Ariana Grande Cut Her Iconic Ponytail in New 'Thank U, Next' Video
Consulte Mais informação »
Veterinarians swear this is the best way to adopt a dog when you have kidsFor starters, it’s important to make sure your kids aren’t allergic to certain kinds of pets you’re considering.
Consulte Mais informação »
Scotland Is The First Country To Implement LGBTI Education In SchoolsAriana Grande chops off her ponytail in new 'Thank U, Next' video:
Consulte Mais informação »