'Until I deleted the dating apps, I was never able to stop dating — it never, ever ended. It was the same old painfully boring, awkward, disappointing shit it ever was.' shanisilver writes.
“I might play ball. But I will never sign that.” - Randall “Pink” Floyd, Dazed and Confused, 1993
There’s a strong possibility that I’m just terrible at dating. It’s a notion I’ve had to at least consider, right?, with not one relationship to speak of after countless attempts and efforts. Maybe I’m single because I’m just not good at dating culture. I have poor swipe skills, bad banter, an off-putting physical presence, and overall I’m just repellant, as far as humans go. If I don’t get good at this game, single is what I’ll always be.
Back to my talents and aptitudes. Dating. Am I good at it? What qualifies as good at it? For me, dating was always about the effort. I put effort into my dates under the notion that. I do my hair and makeup, pull a lewk, and put on my optimism and positivity panties before walking out the door. I ask thoughtful questions and come prepared with morsels of information gleaned from their profiles so as to ensure my dates never feels void of conversation topic or connection.
Maybe who I am isn’t translating well through modern dating culture. I think that’s fine with me. Because modern dating culture has been letting me down, too. I don’t want to be good at dating, I want dating to be good to me.
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