“I want my husband to understand that I don’t do it on purpose. He thinks I ‘forget’ to close the cabinets or don't put something away on purpose.' Relatable for both partners. Try this simple 'rating game' to take away the blame and find happy solutions.
“I want my husband to understand that I don’t do it on purpose. He thinks that I ‘forget’ to close the cabinets or ‘forget’ to put something away on purpose.” Ginny, a client in my group for adults with attention deficit disorder , was sharing her frustrations over living with a hisband without ADHD. Her need for ADHD relationship advice is common.
When a relationship hits a rough patch, I advise couples to focus on each other’s strengths, not their weaknesses. I tell them to think of themselves as a team.Every winning team needs a variety of skill sets to make it work — players who can execute a detailed game plan in a timely manner, and those who inspire with their high energy and spontaneity. A football team comprised of only quarterbacks won’t win on game day.
Couples are sometimes surprised by the results of this rating game. One couple found that having down time after work was low in the husband’s list of needs, while his wife rated getting help in the kitchen a 10. The result? The husband helped with dinner prep the second he got home from the office.Ginny and Alan went home and discussed how much energy they had to expend on tasks with their partner.
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