I Went on an Aaron Rodgers-Style Retreat in the Wilderness. It Didn’t Go as Planned.

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I Went on an Aaron Rodgers-Style Retreat in the Wilderness. It Didn’t Go as Planned.
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There's nothing that 24 hours alone in the woods can't cure, right? ... Right?!

. Maybe it was because fans suspected the retreat would inform whether he retires, changes teams, or stays a Packer for another season. Maybe it was the unorthodox, and to some, ridiculous, prospect of spending four days in complete darkness. But Rodgers, famous and controversial though he is, was simply doing something humans have done for millennia: using isolation retreats as a tool for self-knowledge, spiritual awakening, or personal growth.

I could eat a pathetic micro-handful every several hours or save it until I was starving. Or … I could eat it all now. I was going to be hungry no matter what. With gusto, I applied the leave-no-trace ethos to the trail mix.Having exhausted my food supply, it was time to do something responsible like set up my shelter. I walked into a fragrant grove of pine and found a flattish patch of earth clear of rocks and roots.

Reeling from the non-consensual conversation, I couldn’t resist her generosity. Several hours had passed since I had wolfed down my laughable allotment of trail mix. A peanut butter sandwich sounded pretty good.When she was gone, I exhaled relief and inhaled the sandwich, feeling the adhesive mixture of soft white bread and peanut butter against the roof of my mouth, cheeks, and tongue. Belly now full of illicit provisions, I tried to justify my violations of the solo code.

In the twilight, cloud caravans rolled in on a firm breeze, canceling tonight’s entertainment. I retreated to my sleeping bag. Hopefully inspiration would strike in the morning.My sleeping bag was too hot. I unzipped it. Rain announced itself with a soft tapping on the tarp and then swelled to a confrontational rapping. I entered a mild but inescapable hell. The narrow tarp couldn’t protect me from the wind-blown slant of the rain.

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