'Therapy taught me to be gentle with myself. So I applied it to my parenting, too.'
. I practiced vulnerability with friends in a way Brene Brown would be proud. From friends, I asked for honesty, a pair of listening ears. It all came down to making a decision to make a huge investment in my mind.
I found myself using mindfulness exercises and turning to the words from the books I read everywhere I went…and that included when I took a walk with my daughter to the bookstore, where, because it was full of shiny things, she went a little haywire. If someone were to set me free in a bookstore and let me have whatever I’d want, I’d simply lock the front door and put a giant sign that read “MINE” on it. So when my daughter ran toward me with a stack of books and a new stuffie, immediately begging to keep it all, instead of becoming exasperated, I knelt down and reasoned with her. I told her they are lovely and that it’s so hard to not get to take them all home.
Later that day, I dropped my daughter off at her friend’s house for a playdate while I grabbed lunch with a friend. I let it all out, and in doing so, offered her a safe space for her issues, too. It’s in those moments that I’m so thankful I practice self-care, even in small, seemingly inconsequential doses. It matters.
By the end of the day, when I was picking my daughter up, I was tired and drained. So when my daughter had a hard time leaving the playdate, I snapped. I yelled. I threatened.I took a step back and observed what was happening. I sunk my face into my hands and let out an audible “ughhh.” I remembered the importance of the energy I was casting from that parenting book I had come to memorize. I turned my voice down.
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