'I had no idea that there was a chance I might leave the hospital without my baby in my arms.'
after a medically induced labor, so the second time around I felt more than comfortable with the process. In both cases, my medical team prepared me by explaining the procedure in detail. I knew that I would be given ripening agents for my cervix, either in the form of a suppository or pill. And that those medications would slowly begin softening and thinning my cervix in preparation for labor.
Like I'd done in the past, I arrived at the hospital during evening hours, where the process of ripening my cervix began. I was given a dose of prostaglandins and settled in for a night of broken sleep, expecting contractions to be in full force by morning. But morning came and turned into afternoon, and not one contraction had occurred. So, I was hooked up to a pitocin drip, believing this intervention would kick labor into high gear.
So, with a healthy, rambunctious baby still inside of me, I was sent home to wait for labor to begin naturally. I broke down in tears of defeat, despite my midwife explaining that there were no concerns about the well-being of my unborn baby. He was moving and shaking just like he'd been doing for months, and his heartbeat was steady and strong. But, I couldn't help but think he was better outside of my body than in.
He wasn't born until two weeks later, healthy and flailing. And after three years, just like his exit from my body, he's proven over and over that schedules and plans don't guarantee anything. You can bet that with his, I try to control our days in an attempt to keep myself sane. But he's got his own schedule and plans, and they usually trump mine.
When it comes to pregnancy, birth, and parenting, you can schedule and plan all you want. But truth is, more often than not, your baby and even your body won't go according to plan. And maybe that's a good thing. Because
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