'I thought I was tired from being a a busy working mum. The real reason was devastating'
A primary school headteacher diagnosed with an incurable cancer is writing diaries to her young children to help bring them comfort when they grow up.
"I remember at one time the GP said, 'what are you worried about?' and I remember saying, 'I'm worried that I've got something more than Crohn's'," Alex told The Mirror. "She said, 'Alex, don't worry that this is anything like cancer, because you would deteriorate, you wouldn't get better and worse.'"
"I do think GPs are more aware of bowel cancer in younger people now and there have been a lot of campaigns around it, obviously with Dame Deborah James, but by Bowel Cancer UK." "In my head at that point, that was the end of it. We certainly went into a period of like, that has been really tough but it's done."
"Looking back, it was like we didn't have a care in the world, we were just happy," Alex remembers, tearing up. "Being a mum of two young children, it's hard when you don't feel well because you know that you're not being the mum you want to be. When the new year comes around, she has made a promise to herself to have the courage to start journaling for them both, writing a diary each on their birth stories and the tales she has of them, in a bid to bring them comfort.
Alex knew there was a risk of it returning in the next two years, but didn't think for a second that it would be in the first six months. She was never meant to have a second scan so knew there was something wrong when she was invited for an MRI. While they have been honest to an extent, they haven't told their daughters the time frame and have protected them from uncertainty when waiting for results. They know Alex has cancer and that doctors don't think they can make her better.
Alex is now on a palliative healthcare pathway - which is about making her life as comfortable as it can be whilst trying to extend it, which involves more chemotherapy. “I love my job which is why I'm still working and we are doing more things, trying not to worry long-term. What helps is breaking it down so we'll only think about the next three months."
"Maybe, before I took it for granted, but I've realised that I bloody love life," Alex says. "I'm trying to treasure everything. It's unrealistic to live your life like it's your last day but we are trying to enjoy life as much as we can.” With the help of their friend, Paul set up a dedicated GoFundMe page for the treatment and have been overwhelmed by the number of donations. They felt uncomfortable asking people for money and initially set the target at £12,000, which is the cost of a three-month schedule of Avastin.
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