I Think About This a Lot: The Cat Massage Video

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I Think About This a Lot: The Cat Massage Video
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'It asks an important question — So Your Cat Wants a Massage? — one that has haunted me for a full decade now.' claire_lampen writes

Photo: WrongMan/Youtube I Think About This a Lot is a series dedicated to private memes: images, videos, and other random trivia we are doomed to play forever on loop in our minds.

I scoop him up, a silky ball of squalling claws, and put on my most soothing baritone. I rock him slowly side to side, bouncing him gently as if he were an infant, and whisper into his enormous sonar ears, “It’s time for cat massage.” To my continual chagrin, he does not melt into a catatonic fuzz puddle. It’s not the way I’ve been made to understand this maneuver should go.

Some things I think about when I think about Cat Massage: What purpose does the stuffed tiger serve? Was Champion drugged, and what self-respecting cat lets a human haul it up by the armpits for an extended pectoral scratch? Who even is this lady?

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