What making cheese taught me about being trans.
The realization didn’t strike overnight. It took many months. But the daily evidence of one thing becoming another, enzymes turning liquid to solid, milk into curd into cheese, showed me possible futures.
When my mom mentioned passing a cheese producer 10 minutes from our apartment back home in New York City, I knew where I’d work after graduation. I dropped off my résumé and returned repeatedly until they hired me. I spent more than half a year proving myself. A 10-hour shift making cheddar requires lifting 40- to 60-pound blocks hundreds of times. I felt doubted at every step as coworkers took 2,000-pound carts out of my hands, told me to mop the cooler while they finished loading pallets, or brought up the previous female hire who hadn’t lasted.
The male camaraderie they found running our college’s beer club helped them settle into masculinity. The physical labor of washing kegs honed their body to match. “I consider fermentation to be a form of magic,” she told me. For her, transition is magic as well. It takes magic to manifest desired realities. “But there’s this other layer of people who are really averse to fermented foods, like ‘It’s different, it’s undergone this transformation that’s made it less desirable,’” she added. The otherworldly scoby in kombucha, the stinging fragrance of kimchi, the very concept of eating mold makes some resistant to giving fermented foods a chance.
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