'I met my husband four months after his wife died, I worried it was too soon'
In April 2019, I met Lee, 42, an IT consultant, at a local event for widowed people. Four months before that, his wife Alex, mother to his twin daughters, had died aged 40, from a brain tumour.
Logistically, it was hard to find time to meet alone, so we decided to bring our families together, telling the children we were just friends to begin with. We knew we had to tread carefully. Lee also has a big, close family and I wanted that support network for my boys, not to mention step-siblings and a stepdad. We all had so much to gain.I told the boys that I understood how they felt, and I talked about my feelings too, so they understood better why I wanted to be with Lee, which helped them.
There were some squabbles between the kids and Lee and me, as everyone was getting used to living together in such an intense way, while also working and homeschooling. But we got to know one another in the way you only can when living together. We had fun despite what was going on in the world and, for me, that’s when I really became a stepmother.
Lee proposed in November 2020, going down on one knee in a restaurant. I was completely stunned, but said yes without hesitation. I knew some people would think it was too soon, because society is so judgemental of the widowed, but this was right for us and our children.
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