I’m So Sick Of The Responsibilities Of Family Life Falling On Moms “Kids take note of what they see. And when they grow up, they model this gender-specific behavior that is so toxic.”
Someone in the household is the default parent. And if you have a uterus, I’d be willing to bet that you won’t need to fill out an online questionnaire to determine that it’s you. Because just like everything else that goes on in your household, this is something else that you “just know” too.
The default parent understands the ins and outs of each child’s specific wants and needs, we hold the family’s emotional baggage, and we iron out the logistics nobody else wants to sort.Because contrary to popular opinion, this isn’t something moms ask for when they decide to start a family; this isn’t an aspect of parenting that should “come with the territory.
It feels like we are the only ones with eyes for our kids’ wants and needs. And when our partners ask us to delegate everyday tasks that haven’t changed since our inception of parenthood, it makes us assume even more responsibility that we don’t need. The result leaves moms bone-tired and stressed out, and it makes us not even want to ask for help. Because somebody has to do these things, and we don’t understand why we can see it but our partner can’t.
with them. And yes, I know, “not all fathers,” but clearly, there are enough of them if we have to disclose that information.So many of us grew up like this, causing these narratives to descend on us from generation to generation. Little girls become mothers who are, by nature, the default parent, and young boys turn into fathers who spend far too much time in a state of oblivion, receiving praise for their minimal effort. Kids take note of what they see.
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