'Worrying about aging, I soon realized, was stealing my youth. I was losing time, money, confidence and energy to it.'
It’s shortly after my 40th birthday, I’m enjoying some well-deserved time off with my family, and it’s shaping up to be one of the loveliest days I’ve had in a long time. We’d spent the day out in the water, and everyone was still lounging around in their swimwear by the time dinner rolled around.
I simmered in anger but I also felt bad. Bad that my sister-in-law was arguing on my behalf. Bad that everyone in my family had heard my brother’s comment. Bad that my kids had to witness this ugliness.My first instinct was to brush it off and manage everyone’s emotions so we could still salvage the evening. Fifteen years ago, Susan would have left it at that. But 40-year-old Susan? She was tired of constantly shouldering the invisible workload of women.
When I turned 38, I started noticing the first signs of perimenopause. Suddenly, I had to adjust my lifestyle. The way I ate and what I drank. And just as suddenly, I started noticing changes in my body. My skin sagging where it didn’t use to sag. Wrinkles appearing and deepening where they didn’t use to be., I thought to myself bitterly as I looked in the mirror, flashing back to the moments my mother would do the same.that’s making bank off these thoughts., says every airbrushed model image.
But the aging part was still happening, graceful or not. And I still found myself scrutinizing my insecurities in front of the mirror as my mother had before me. I pushed myself to be mindful in the moments these insecurities would threaten to take over. I challenged myself to remember that I was fed this BS about aging. It wasn’t the truth.I took a hard look at what I surrounded myself with online and started curating my space with content that would lift me up rather than minimize me.
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