Dear How to Do It: I'm not thrilled about this pattern.
The woman you’re dating isn’t into anal. She has clearly stated that she doesn’t want to receive any kind of anal stimulation. That’s her boundary. Regardless of whether other people are having this kind of sex, it isn’t what she wants. You, on the other hand, are very into anal. That kind of sex is important for you to the point that you can’t imagine a long-term relationship without it.The two of you are monogamous, so having anal sex with other people isn’t an option.
I am in a five-year relationship that is incredibly happy and invested. We have had a good, but not perfect sex life in this time. In our conversations, we’ve been able to identify things we found were dragging, but haven’t always been able to identify a way forward.Recently, over the last two months, I’ve hit sort of a dry spell. The idea of sex with him doesn’t turn me off, but for whatever reason doing it NOW, when the opportunity arises, isn’t something I want.
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