Award-winning journalist Jen Reeder is former president of the Dog Writers Association of America and founder of the nonprofit Rock 1 Kidney. Bylines include CNN, BBC News, Inside Your Dog’s Mind, The Daily Beast, Family Dog Magazine, the TODAY show’s website, Woman’s World and many other publications. Visit her online at: JenReeder.com.
When my husband, Bryan, and I adopted our first dog over 13 years ago, it changed my life. I was in my 30s and felt like I’d been let in on a wonderful secret: Dogs are amazing.
But Peach proved plucky. Instead of acting sick, she delighted in long walks, pretending to eat my shoelaces whenever I’d lace up my hiking boots, and snuggling into a lap whenever possible. Her ears flopped back and looked like wings when she’d gaze up at us, wagging her tail, asking to be held.Our little girl beat the odds and lived for another 5 1/2 years. Bryan and I had almost fooled ourselves into thinking she’d live forever. But earlier this year, she stopped eating.
I tried to embrace gratitude. Years ago, I had interviewed a veterinarian who told me he wished more people would say, “Thank you,” when they say goodbye to a pet. Most people say, “Sorry.” So as we said our goodbyes, I thanked Peach for the cute way she’d get the zoomies after a bath, for the joy she’d brought to our lives, for making everyone she met fall in love with her.
A few days after Peach died, I posted about her life and death on social media, and concluded with, “This is the first dog I’ve ever lost, so I’d welcome any coping tips in the comments below. Please give your pets an extra snuggle in honour of Peach tonight. Snuggle photos also welcome in the comments below.”I’ll never forget the compassionate response. So many people could relate to the pain of losing a pet.
In When Your Pet Dies: A Guide to Mourning, Remembering, and Healing, Alan Wolfelt, PhD, writes that “openness to accepting the joys of a new animal relationship will be affected by how intentionally you mourned the death of your special pet. I always encourage people to mourn well so they can go on to live and love well again.”
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