I Just Had My Last Baby, And I Didn’t Expect To Feel So Sad About It

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I Just Had My Last Baby, And I Didn’t Expect To Feel So Sad About It
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This day had to come eventually; we can’t keep having babies endlessly.

But I always imagined that when we got here, I’d look at my family and feel “done.” As it is, I could easily see one or two more smiles there. If it were an option logistically, financially, and health-wise, I’d keep having babies forever. But alas, it is not, so this is it.

After this baby, we’ll retire our crib and high chair. Bottles, sippy cups and tummy time mats will get put away for good. She’ll be the last to ride in a stroller, the last to need a carseat, the last to head off to school. She is taking us to the next stage. Our lives are going to change dramatically as this little one grows up.

There will be a time without diapers. There will be a time when every member of our household can put on their own shoes and get themselves into the car. There will be a time when everyone’s in school. And eventually, there will be a time when they won’t need us anymore. My head knows this is the right decision for our family, but my heart isn’t quite on board yet. So here I am, in tears, mourning the end. Because although we are still at the beginning of her life, we are also at an end. For her firsts are our lasts, and the end of something so wonderful is sad.

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