Journalist Emmie Harrison-West was a social butterfly, but friendships have dwindled as she’s got older.
In her teenage years, journalist Emmie Harrison-West was a social butterfly, but friendships have dwindled as she’s got older. What if that’s no bad thing?
Now, as I approach 30, I can count on one hand how many close friends I have – and one of those is my husband. I have fewer friends than ever, and honestly, I couldn’t be happier, which isn’t entirely unusual according to Rebecca Lockwood, a positive psychology coach. “Friendships can dwindle and change throughout our lives because we’re going through different things at different stages,” says Lockwood.
According to Lockwood, this is because we’re in our ‘socialisation period’ in our teens. “In this time our friendships can be based on pleasing others to fit into the crowd,” she says. “When we begin to get older and into our twenties, we have more of an idea of who we are so we look for friendship groups that fit with our values and ideals we already have.”
“Yet, once we feel established in our adult life, it can suddenly seem like we need different things,” Dickens adds. “We want friends who can relate to our experiences at the time: parents need other parents, for example. We need friends who can offer vulnerability and emotional support to help us through these times – being fun often isn’t enough anymore.”Dickens is right. In my late twenties, I was introduced to the idea of ‘day and night friends’.
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