This way of thinking could be a total game-changer annetdonahue
Anyone who’s well-versed in the 2000s-era dialogue of Teen Girl Squad is nodding in recognition. The bit saw four stick-figure teens navigating the ins and outs of late adolescence for a minute or two every few weeks. There was no rhyme or reason to character trajectories, there were no actual plot devices and the series likely wasn’t created to instill a life mantra into the mouldable minds of its youngish audience. But, alas, here we are.
Of course, this type of crush isn’t a problem. A harmless, fun and exciting distraction that’s in no way an infringement on anyone’s day or psyche is the best type of crush in the world. Especially because I am quite busy. A crush only becomes a problem when your time is devoured by incessant text-message analysis, Instagram creeping or going out of your way on a regular basis to maybe walk by them like you did on that random Monday three weeks ago.
Or at least this is what I remind myself of when a crush threatens to break away from its harmlessness and tread into “I really like this guy” territory. Especially since I’ve finally escaped the cycle of terrible dynamics I entertained throughout most of my 20s, when I’d actively hand the men I liked my time. They took it from me, and I let them, convinced that if I just did my part and put in the work, I’d win them over and it would all be worth it.
But at some point this past summer, crush-free by fluke and ready to go into my mid-30s with a healthier perspective, I began to think about when I feel my best. Because, sure, I feel amazing when a crush reciprocates anything, but I feel even better when I’m around people who genuinely want to spend time with me. I leave hangouts with my family knowing how fortunate I am to have been born into a group of people who love and really know me.
And I don’t feel that way at all when I’m checking Instagram obsessively for his likes or DMs, when I’m stifling disappointment over his lack of response to my text or when I’m funnelling so much of my brain power into trying to figure out how to make him like me. What matters most in my life tends to find a way into my heart without demanding anything or taking advantage of my kindness or generosity or ability to make a very good joke.
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