'I hated myself as a teen girl. A diagnosis helped me understand why' Read more:
The confusion was frustrating. A constant track ran in my mind where I tried to rationalize my way out of the situation. When I was most afraid, I retreated to an escape thought:"Life is great. Your family and friends love you. You don't want to actually hurt yourself."
I was uncomfortable being alone with my thoughts, so I attached myself to my family, who continually reassured me that everything would be okay."My brain is loud," I'd say to describe the intensity of my anxiety. I expressed how my mind felt like it was"on fire." The eighteen-year-old body I was living in felt strange and unfamiliar. I was searching for a glimmer of hope, a sign, or a reminder that I was still the same girl I was the year before.
Learning more about OCD gave me a sense of comfort. It helped me realize there was nothing wrong with me. I wasn't the only one feeling this way, even though it often felt like it. I've emerged a stronger, wiser, more compassionate person. I now prioritize personal growth and mental health above all else. I've proven my power to myself and listen to my heart when I need to take a breather. Only you can control your emotions. Sure, my parents and therapist were a great rallying squad, but I needed to be my own cheerleader.
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