HolaPapi: 'I guess I don’t know how to be me without someone else to ground me.' jpbrammer responds
Illustration: Pedro Nekoi A few months ago, my husband of six years and I divorced. I’ve known him forever. I ran to him right out of high school and never looked back.
I thought it would come to me over time, but it’s been almost half a year since I left and I still feel adrift. What’s worse, I feel like I’m at risk of throwing myself into a rebound with a longtime friend, and I don’t want to hurt him. He accepts me for who I am and is encouraging me to find myself, but I don’t even know where to begin looking.
So if you’re looking for an absolute identity, one that can provide you with the stability you need before moving forward, well, I don’t think such a thing exists. But that doesn’t mean you can’t figure anything out or that you’ll never find your stretches of peace. It doesn’t mean you have to think about this confusing time as completely dreadful. Because I think, in the end, you’re not doing anything unique here. Most humans are on this journey. You’re just being more up front about it.
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