My mom immediately called me and confessed. I was at work, and this news was all coming to me via text. My mom said: 'It's true.'
I have lived in New York for 13 years now; it's the kind of place where you meet people as they are. If someone says,"My name is Razzle Dazzle," you say"Hi Razzle Dazzle, lovely to meet you". That's partly why people move to a big city; you can be the person you want to be.
When my dad's results came in, my sister immediately sent them to me. Those results established that my father is not my father. The man I always thought was my uncle, my dad's brother, is actually my father. Biologically, the man I thought was my father growing up is now technically my half-uncle.
I've gotten the details from my mom in the years since we got the results in 2018, but it's taken time. I needed distance from it. What took me years to process was the fear that this had been a conspiracy, that every adult in my life knew the truth and didn't tell me. I asked my mom if that was the case and she has said no, and despite my suspicions, I know I won't benefit from pushing the subject any further.
He told me that he still considered me his son, and over the course of several conversations, he shared, without anger, that he had suspected he may not be my biological father, but he never thought it was my uncle. I couldn't understand his lack of anger at the moment, but I get it now. When you've had a hard f***king life and then someone throws another detail at you, your attitude is: add it to the list. It probably wasn't even the worst news he'd ever gotten.
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