I Couldn’t Distill My Trauma Into a College Essay

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I Couldn’t Distill My Trauma Into a College Essay
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  • 📰 TeenVogue
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For Teen Vogue's 'Unequal' series, eminietfeld shares her experience as a former foster youth pressured to divulge her personal history in a college essay, and how universities can rethink ways to make admissions more equitable for everyone.

As a teenager, the burden of proof felt crushing for me. After I submitted my applications, almost every admissions office wanted to verify the facts. With no way to access court records that I didn’t know existed, I scrounged up the evidence I could find: a letter from my county-appointed mentor, an email from my social worker, a note from a homeless shelter. As paltry as this documentation seemed, I felt lucky to have it — so many hardships leave no paper trail.

As I rehashed the details, I felt tremendous pressure to remain upbeat and positive. Colleges, I knew, look for “over-comers.” A double bind haunts any student who discusses adversity: Be honest and risk seeming like a Debbie Downer or omit negative details and raise questions about dropped classes and school changes. In my essays, I struggled not to sound too glum while describing my situation. I had to find the bright side of sleeping in my car.

Sixto Cancel, who is Black and Hispanic, wrote a personal statement for his application called “America’s Angriest Colored Child,” about his resilience while bouncing between homes. He argues that individual experiences of adversity are beside the point; affirmative action, he maintains, exists as a structural solution to a structural problem that denies opportunities to a group of people.

Stephanie Gravalese, whose essay described her experience as a ward of the state and the racism she faced as an Afrolatina in a predominantly white school, says Alito’s proposed solution “trivializes the experience of being taken away from my parents.” Making college applicants write purposefully lurid prose about trauma like abuse, neglect, and family separation equates those experiences with the common essay prompt “what I did on my summer vacation.

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