MyTwoCents: 'I know some of my fears aren’t rational, but some of them are. How can I start to address my money anxiety in a real way?' CharlotteCowles responds
I worry about money constantly.
Growing up, I had everything. My dad is a doctor and we were always taken care of — nothing fancy, but my siblings and I had everything we wanted, and we all graduated college debt-free. The attitude from my parents was basically that money didn’t exist. But because I never had to think about money, I was really, really bad with it when I first lived on my own. I got into over $20,000 in credit-card debt right after college, which I fully paid off three years ago .
I’m sorry you feel so alone in your fears, especially because so many people share them. I think it’s normal to have some anxiety about money, especially at a time like this, when it feels so abstract and uncertain. Inflation has literally changed the value of what we have. There’s a lot of noise about the economy and where it’s going. Housing prices are truly bonkers. I’m a little nervous myself.
You are already taking the first step of asking those questions — you’re reality-testing the signal. And I can understand why you’re confused and dissatisfied by the answers. On the one hand, the danger is real: It can be wildly expensive to buy a home, raise a family, and retire, especially in a place like New York City. It’s true that you may not be able to afford to do those things in the same ways that some of your wealthier friends can. But on the other hand, you are very secure.
You also need to know how to stop when you’ve done what you can. “For example, I create a schematic for my clients to consult when they get anxious. It includes opening your accounts, looking at your numbers, paying your bills, and making sure that everything is on time,” says Clayman. “Once you get to the bottom of that list, that’s it — you’re done.” If there’s still residual anxiety, then focus on treating it separately with other tools like meditation, therapy, or exercise.
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